abies naturally sing.
Sometimes we call it crying. Sometimes it IS crying. But for babies, it’s how they communicate. There are varying volumes, pitches, intensities, moods, and meanings to the way babies cry. There is virtually no difference between this and singing.
Parents who really cue into this means of communication can help their baby to feel heard and understood. Even if we can’t always understand the story they’re trying to tell us, we can listen and communicate in ways that express important things to our babies.
That quivering cry of a newborn who needs urgently to be fed will stop me in my tracks wherever I am, even though my youngest child is now an adult! It’s the most gripping sound I know of. Moms instinctively get ready to feed these little ones without hesitation. Dad’s learn to recognize this cry right away too. It’s urgent, it’s piercing, and it gets to your heart. It’s supposed to.
This is one song.
The sound of “I’m just too tired to do anything but cry” usually sounds quite different from the “feed me now” song. It often results in rocking, bouncing, swaddling, cuddling, and more patience than you thought you could ever muster.
There’s this other sound that I want to focus on. It’s sometimes referred to as the Song of Life. When diapers are changed, tummies are full, the temperature is just right, and there’s this kind of crying that happens. It isn’t really urgent, it doesn’t really freak anybody out. It just is. Listen for it. This is the one that I want you to sing along with. Not in an overbearing way. Make sure your baby knows you’re responding to THEIR story. Try to match the mood, the timbre, the changes in pitch, and trade off listening and responding. Just like you would do with your best, best friend when they’re telling you something very important and you want them to know you’re listening, that you understand, and that you deeply care. Be sure to make eye contact as you’re listening and responding to your baby. You don’t need to get your baby to pay attention. Over time, they’ll learn to expect your song and they’ll be ready to listen to you.
As you develop this kind of “call and response” singing with your baby, you can incorporate it into every day life in whatever language you’re using at the time. Whether it be the language of music, the language of hugs and kisses, the language of play, or regular old talking, you will teach your baby that they can come to you. That you will listen, that you understand, and that you deeply care. By repeating what they’ve said, and by responding with your own ideas, you validate your baby and let them know that what they say matters to you.
The Song of Life becomes the most amazing duet between you and your baby!
