Music Is Not a Competitive Sport
Friendly competition can be a great motivator for certain personalities. For others who may be more sensitive, competition can be discouraging and leave kids feeling like they’re not good enough. There are plenty of options for kids who don’t thrive in a competitive environment, and that’s completely okay. But music? Music should never be one of those competitive arenas in the first place.
Music isn’t & shouldn’t be a sport
We live in a world that’s filled with competition. Who’s the top athlete this week? Who’s number one on the charts? Who won the Grammys? Over the years, decades, and even centuries, music has devolved from a unifying, soul-healing form of expression into something that looks a lot more like a sport. There are competitions beginning at very early ages in the music education world. We have toddlers on YouTube playing the piano like adults, and we feel ashamed that we as grownups can’t even play like that. We tell ourselves, “Well, maybe I’m just not cut out to make music.”
There’s nothing further from the truth. Making music is part of being human.
The Cost of Competition
How do you think it leaves the kids feeling who don’t win a prize, even though they practiced for endless hours? So then we give everyone a first place trophy, and kids intuitively know they didn’t really win. Far too often, even the kids who do win end up not loving music, because it’s lost the spark of fun, creativity, and emotional expression that drew them to it in the first place.
My question is: why are we giving out prizes at all, and telling some kids they should try soccer instead, when playing music is just being human?
I’ve spent a lifetime in the world of music making, and I’ve seen so many people give up because they thought they weren’t good enough. I’ve experienced and witnessed the push and pull of wanting to improve, while being torn about practicing because it feels like you’ll never measure up. I sadly watched kid after kid walk away. I’ve seen cattiness, betrayal, and hurtful behaviors over something that should be inclusive and welcoming to everyone.
It is my life’s mission to help undo that in our society.
Improvement over competitionImprovement over competitionImIImprovement over competition
I’m not saying there’s no need to perfect your art. I’m all about learning, improving, and making playing music easier and more joyful for more people. It’s genuinely fun to watch yourself progress, to play more beautifully, to take on more complex pieces. But that’s hard to focus on when you’re worried about a competition, or what other people will think.
When your child gets older, there will be natural situations where competition is unavoidable and appropriate- there will only be so many chairs in a symphony, and only one opening for a choir pianist. Not everyone will get the gig. But there has to be a way to offer music to kids and motivate them without the pressure of competition, without creating isolation for the kids for whom it takes a little longer, or who are less intense about their learning. Most kids will never want to be professional musicians, nor should they need to be in order to enjoy making music their whole lives.
It’s okay for music to just be for fun!
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