New Moms, I hear you.
You’re telling me that this might be the first time in your life that you aren’t able to solve this problem by yourself. The first time you’re not just rockin it!
You might be the one who, to get great grades, just had to spend a little extra time with the books, study a little extra in order to ace that test. You might be the one who could put a puzzle together just by continuing to try to find the piece that fits, until the last one goes in and boom. The puzzle looks just like the picture on the box!
Or you might be the go-to gal when the code breaks. You’re the one everyone can count on to fix the problem.
Whatever your thing in life has been, that you just know you can solve, It’s been pretty much up to you.
Suddenly this new baby thing… is not that.
Your baby might not be sleeping through the night, and even though you’ve followed every blogger, grandma, advice from in-laws, you’re still exhausted and not always cheery when your baby cries for no apparent reason.
There might be other unexpected disturbances to a peaceful night’s sleep, or just the worry of not knowing if they’ll grow up to be happy and well-adjusted.
The truth is, a tiny human is not a problem to solve.
They’re not a puzzle to complete.
They’re not a course to master.
(In fact, after 39 years of being a mom, I can tell you, you never master this course, and honestly, you never want to. Because there’s always more to learn, there are always ways to build on the relationships with your kids that are just now beginning. And it’s the most amazing journey there is.)
This little, tiny person is one-of-a-kind. They’re the only model of this particular set of genes, this particular set of likes and dislikes, this precise way of interpreting what’s going on.
There is no box to show you what they’re supposed to look like after all the puzzle pieces are in.
And this little tiny person can’t begin to tell you what they need, feel or want…in words.
This may be the first time in your life you’ve felt this much uncertainty.
But the fact that you’re even here with me right now tells me
You Are Rockin It!
You’re still in the game. You’re still showing up. You’re still looking for answers.
Here’s the thing that took me WAY too long to learn:
It’s brave, it’s courageous, it’s good. It’s loving. To ask for help.
You might not feel like you’re enough, and really, you’re not supposed to be. You can still be this baby’s hero with all of your uncertainty, all of your inability to always be cheerful, all of your not having all the answers, because you have the ability to ask for help.
This baby needs a village. And you can be the curator of that village.
Keep up the good work. The really hard work of showing up. Of keeping trying. Of listening. Of letting people help you. This. Is Love.
