Making Hard Things Seem Fun is a Much Better Strategy than Making Hard Things Seem Important” – Katy Milkman

For decades, I’ve watched parents try to motivate their tiny children to pay attention or to practice the piano by telling them that it’s good for them, or even by attaching external motivators like prizes or stickers.

Not only do these tactics not work, they almost always have the opposite effect. Instead of encouraging the child to do what you want them to do, they become even MORE resistant. These kids are the most resistant to activities, songs, and games – things that are intrinsically fun! Parents then conclude that their kids “just aren’t musical,” or that they’re lazy or misbehaving, when in fact, they’re just pushing back against ineffective strategies.

Humans respond to fun, especially little kids! So if you want your toddler to eat spinach, make it a game. Make it look better, make it taste better. Let them see you enjoy eating spinach. And for goodness sake, don’t try to force them to eat it, and please don’t lecture them on how good it is for them.

If you want your child to have the benefits of a music education, PLAY music around them. Let them experience live music. Dance to music with your child. Play silly games while making up songs. Have fun writing notes and playing your little tunes on the piano, on a xylophone, or on a pumpkin. Let music be a joyful part of every day. Let them see you having fun with music so they WANT to experience the joy & fun of music with you!

PLEASE don’t lecture your toddler on the benefits of hard work or practicing piano, or why they should pay attention in music class. This will not get you the results you’re hoping for. Instead, YOU join in class! Play! Be silly! And let your child join you when they feel like it. And I can promise you, if you’re having fun and resisting the urge to pressure your child, they won’t be able to resist.

For over 40 years, I’ve watched parents try to get their little kids to learn to play the piano. What I’ve observed over and over is that the kids whose parents offer fun and autonomy are not only happier and more confident, but they are the ones who stick with music, enjoy the benefits of a musical brain, connection to their parents, and who love it!