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ometimes I hear parents trying to force their kids to say “I’m sorry,” before the child even has a sense of what that means.

I’m sure I did it too, when my kids were little. We’ve learned so much more about how kids grow up to be compassionate and to have an inner sense of empathy. I’m so fortunate to witness this every day with the parents and kids who come into my studio. I see parents who are patient with their kids, who model courteous behavior, and who don’t expect their kids to act like tiny adults. Instead, they are respectful of their kids’ wishes (within reason – they need to be safe.) They talk to their kids, and more importantly, they listen to them. It takes patience and understanding to wait for grown-up behaviors from little kids, but SHOWING them grown-up behaviors like respect, patience, listening, and helping, and making an effort to show them that you get them, allow kids to naturally follow. These kids are more prone to voluntarily apologizing, sharing, and behaving confidently and kindly.

Adult following child's lead

You can use music as a powerful tool to demonstrate these traits. For example, your child might want to color. You can color with your child, ask them what they’re making, and sing a little song about it. Your song doesn’t need to be loud or even particularly good. Just make up a little tune about what your child is telling you.

new baby overwhelm

If your child wants to drive trucks around, you can sing songs about trucks while you play with them. Have fun! Follow their lead, and don’t be in a hurry to clean up or to make sure your child learns something. Just enjoy them. Your child will feel your love and acceptance and will grow more confident. By hearing you sing about what’s important to them, they’ll feel connected to you, and will naturally want to sing as well. This will become a meaningful part of your communication together!

If you’re not comfortable making up your own songs yet, feel free to use some of mine. There are simple little songs about dump trucks, cars, ladybugs, dinosaurs, flowers, and so much more!

Finding ways to demonstrate to your child traits of empathy, consideration, patience, and that you understand them; and using music to communicate with and around your child, are powerful ways to encourage your child’s natural sense of empathy to grow and to shine.
Have so much fun playing with your best little buddy!