“I

knew a girl in high school who was studying piano with a “top” teacher, who required her to practice 5 hours every day. In reality, not very many people actually knew this girl very well, we only knew of her, because she was not involved in school activities. She was home practicing piano.

There can be a lot of value in sacrificing for something important, but the question is, is it actually helpful to practice 5 hours a day? Most adult attention spans are actually only about 20 minutes. After that, your mind wanders and your piano practicing turns into mindless repetition, which can sometimes cause you to reinforce, over and over, poor practice, resulting in less desired performance. And what is the cost?

Girl playing piano

In his article, “Why Practicing Too Much Could Actually Increase Errors” Noa Kagyama, Ph.D. explains that too much practice can actually lead to worse performance. It totally makes sense! When a child, or an adult for that matter, is forced to practice longer than their brain can actually pay attention, the result might easily be that they’re mindlessly reinforcing mistakes. Then there’s the fact that the fun has been hijacked, and anyone would resist doing this again, especially a baby, toddler, or preschooler.

babies sleeping and crawling

Have you ever watched a baby learn something new? Babies are relentless when they’re trying to learn how to climb, or crawl, or roll over, or when they discover that they can make a new sound. They work and work at it. Then they sleep, look around, do other things… and then they come back to the thing they were working on. I once watched my grandson go from scooting to army crawling to standing in a matter of days. He did it until he couldn’t, and fell asleep. As soon as he woke up, he was at it again, until the skills were mastered. Babies automatically utilize intermittent practice, or practicing in spurts, and then resting. We could learn a lot, and skip all the research (just kidding, I love research) just by watching how babies do things. They’re the most effective learners on the planet!

It seems like we adults have decided that babies, infants and toddlers have zero attention span, when in reality, they might not be very interested in what WE want them to be interested in at any given moment. A child is experiencing EVERYTHING from the perspective of newness and wonder, and they need time to process. I know how I feel when I’m right in the middle of writing a composition about ducks and someone wants me to suddenly drop what I’m doing and look at their new shoes, or get them something from across the room. Because I’m supposedly a grown-up, I’ll probably stop what I’m doing and look at their shoes. I might also let them know (depending on the circumstances) that they’re capable of getting themselves a drink of water. Sometimes it’s hard for me to get back into the moment I was in with the duck song.
Now imagine you’re two, and you’re figuring out how to keep your stack of blocks from tipping over, or you’re listening to the sound of something you’ve never noticed in your life, and someone wants you to suddenly look at note flashcards, pay attention, and show that you’re interested! When you look at it this way, how does it even make sense that we think they’ll be able to shift their brains over to what we want? Is this even courteous? If our end goal is to raise thoughtful, caring empathetic and capable adults, wouldn’t our first approach be to show them how to be those things, by US BEING thoughtful, caring, empathetic and capable so they can learn from our example?
You can practice your cooperation skills at the same time you teach your child (or learn from them) how to utilize intermittent practice. To get started, just follow your child’s lead. Learn how to notice when they’re interested in something. You might notice things like attentive watching, excited flailing of your baby’s arms and legs, happy noises, and for some kids you might notice a blank look on their face. You might see more drooling. Of course, the obvious thing is that they’re going to keep trying to do something new with an amazing sense of focus. This is because your baby is READY for the thing they’re currently doing. Try to be so observant of your baby’s interest level, or if they seem to be resting from what they were doing. Think of this attentive observation as demonstrating to your child the WAY you want them to listen to and pay attention to you!

Once you’ve got the hang of how your baby’s learning cycle seems to work, if there’s something you want your baby to learn, do it in front of them – from time to time. Do it for short periods of time, often, and then rest. 

“Rest” can include

  • Sleeping
  • Playing hide and seek
  • Having a snack
  • Jumping up and down
  • Rolling around on the floor

Basically, anything that’s fun for you and your child to engage in together, that ISN’T strictly educational or directed by you. It might also include letting your child have some space while you make dinner or allowing them to have free play by themselves.

Come back to the activity later, in short, playful spurts. It might come as a surprise that you don’t have to make sure your baby’s watching you. Even though I’m recommending you learn to observe your baby’s cues, you can still add to the plethora of things your baby’s learning by doing things around them that you want them to do, or like, or become interested in. 

If you’re doing something often around your baby, and you’re not pressuring them to watch or learn or demonstrate their knowledge (these are fun sucking behaviors parents sometimes try to use) your baby is GOING TO NOTICE! A baby’s natural curiosity is going to kick in, and they’re going to notice what you’re doing. They likely won’t be able to demonstrate that knowledge for a very long time, so spare yourself and your baby the frustration of trying to test them.  It’s very  important to remember that your baby will demonstrate these things when they’re ready. A baby or toddler automatically knows what they’re ready to show you. And they WANT to show you what they can do, as soon as they are ABLE, because your baby wants to be just like you! Babies want nothing more than to fit into your shoes! They’ll do it when they can and not before. In the meantime, be kind to yourself and your baby, and just enjoy the moments!

Another fun surprise is that YOU will benefit from these short, intermittent bursts of practice more than you think you will! Your baby will love watching you grow, and will learn from you, to have a growth mindset!
Have SO MUCH FUN!