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here was a study conducted in Spain, “Effects of Phonological and Musical Training on the Reading Readiness of Native- and Foreign-Spanish Speaking Children,” where it was determined that music training has more profound effects on the acquisition of language in young children than art lessons or even language lessons! There are constantly increasing numbers of studies that prove the benefits of music training, and that the younger children start, the benefits to their growing brains and their emotional well being, are most profound. Yet, most very young children get very little, if any, exposure to music training or live music making, unless they’re part of an actively musical family.

Parents might join a little mommy and me class with their baby or toddler where they clap and sing a little bit, and a child might get to watch shows about music and instruments. These are great introductory experiences but these methods don’t teach how to create music, understand music theory, or how to listen. Each of these abilities is essential to music making, and to a child receiving the benefits expected from early music training.
Music Class
On the other hand, there are a few places in the world where child prodigies can study, and dedicated parents who are musically trained can push and urge their children to be highly accomplished musicians at a very young age. But there is often a cost to this kind of pressure to succeed. For most kids, the cost is too great socially, psychologically, and developmentally, and this approach can do more harm than good. A child might grow up to be a fantastic musician if they stick it out, but more often there is a lot of anxiety associated with such high expectations from parents & instructors.

Music is so beneficial for the development of young children, there has to be a way to educate them that isn't harmful!

The abilities to imagine and to choose, set humans apart from other creatures on this planet. Yet, little kids have very few opportunities to make choices. When they play, however, children get to choose.  They get to be in charge, try new things, take risks, and along the way, they develop their muscles and their brains. They learn.

The acclaimed Dr. Ken Ginsburg asserts that “play is essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth. Play also offers an ideal opportunity for parents to engage fully with their children.”

Sometimes when our kids  insist on “doing it myself” or when they don’t want to do what we want them to, we think kids are misbehaving. It can be hard to understand when a child has a meltdown over an outfit choice or the color of their cup, or when they seem to be ignoring us altogether.

Girl Playing

Kids, like all people. have a strong desire to be in charge, to be in control. When they come face to face with the fact that they aren’t in charge, they try desperately to make sense of their world in a context where they have very little control. It’s important to let them have autonomy, but obviously they lack the experience, understanding, emotional maturity, and physical strength to be in charge – of most things.

They CAN, however, be in charge of play!

This is the one arena where a baby, toddler, or preschooler can be “totally in charge.” Of course, they need us to help keep them safe, but for the purposes of deciding who they’ll be, where they’ll go, how they’ll dress, what they’ll do and say, self-guided play is a safe place for them to practice, and an important and necessary part of their development. In pretend-world, your child can be anyone and do anything they want. It’s how they practice being a grown-up, grow their muscles and their brains, and how they learn how to deal with their emotions.

You can support your child in their play by playing along. Be the llama, or the baby or the house. It won’t hurt you, and you might actually have fun! The more genuinely you begin to enjoy this time with your child, and allow yourself to play too, the more loved and connected they’ll feel to you, and you to them!

musical playtime
Musical play can be a powerful part of playtime, and if you’re gentle with it, can increase the fun and the connection, and help to prepare your child for all other future learning! To add music to playtime-
  • keep musical items in the play area
  • Let your child see you create music
  • sing your part instead of talking
  • play music on a piano, a drum, or a toy, that mimics what your child is doing
  • follow along if your child decides to beat a drum or play the piano
  • Show your child flashcards that show how notes move up and down, and that they repeat, and that illustrate various rhythms
  • Let your child see you write notes on paper or on a chalkboard
  • Sing simple songs, and play music to inspire your child
  • If you don’t know how to make music yourself, you can learn some basics and keep ahead of your child musically enough to foster their interest, and to inspire your child’s thirsty brain. 
Above all, please continue to let your child be in charge of playtime, especially when it comes to music. I can never say this enough: Keep it play. The moment you start to test your child on their knowledge, or insist they keep playing a song, or turn it into a lesson or a job, playtime is over and your child will likely resist. It’s easy for us grown-ups to get caught up in wanting quick results, or thinking of our kids as tiny college students. Think instead, of play as your child’s most important activity, and allow yourself to join the fun everyday. Let your child know how funny you think they are, and how much you like their ideas!
Music is the language of connection, and it can be a very powerful part of bedtime, chore time, and playtime with your child. Just make sure that playing music with your child remains “playing” music, and that it doesn’t become a job, so that your child can enjoy music-making, with all of its benefits, throughout their life.